Difficult Conversations

The key to having effective, productive conversations is to recognize the presence of these deeper conversations, avoid the common errors, and turn difficult conversations into learning conversations.

on HN, 2019

A learned habit to stop and empathize with the motivations behind people's emotional upset has completely changed the way I interact with everyone in my life.

on HN, 2019

The basic idea is that in any difficult conversation, there's actually three sub-conversations happening — (1) What happened? (2) How do we feel about it? (3) What are we going to do about it?

on HN, 2021

It's like Design Patterns for human conversations: the result of studying how people interact, common patterns that work, and how things break down. Really crystallised a lot of insights I'd perceived but never thought about systematically.

on HN, 2019

I read in it in my early 20s and have been using the framework they recommend for numerous conversations (even the not difficult ones). It makes for better communication and understanding between parties.

on HN, 2022

A great book that provides a framework for dealing with difficult conversations is Difficult Conversations, written by a team at Harvard that spent years on practicing and refining conflict-resolution.

on HN, 2021

Perhaps the most important book I've ever read is Difficult Conversations, by Douglas Stone. It's possible that my life is 10-20% easier since I read it, with zero hyperbole.

on HN, 2019